Hello, welcome!

Sup peeps, I'm Al. I'm an asshole and I don't care about other people as much as I care about myself. Don't worry, I do love my mother. And let this be the first lesson to you -- there is no woman more important than your mother. I guarantee that if you ever forget about mom--the woman who shot you out of her toddler tunnel and nursed your punk ass to life--it'll bite you in the rear one day. Mark my words.

Unless your mom is a bitch and now you're gay and despise women. For the rest of you soulless out there, this guide is for you.

I'm pretty much going to start from the beginning, a discussion of the idiotic things we do with relationships, and how to look out for them. Why is this useful, you may ask? Why isn't it?



So, read on, and enjoy.